#YOU'RE NOT ALONE...

Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel like you constantly have to explain yourself? Do you feel stagnant? Do you feel like everyone is moving on and you are not? Do you wonder how everyone seems to have their sh** together and you do not? Do you feel like a jack of all trades and master of none? Do you feel confused and unsure of what to do with your life? Do you feel like you are constantly floating or worse, drowning and no one seems able to pull you out? Do you feel so happy and yet so sad that your friends are doing so well? Do you feel so happy but yet so envious of their achievements? Do you feel like you are constantly waiting for something awesome to happen to you? Do you feel like you should be doing something with your life, something important, but for the life of you, you have no idea what it is you should be doing? Do you feel like you are only just going through the motions of living, sure you wake up at the right time, eat at the right time, do whatever it is you should be doing at the right time, funny or not you laugh politely at people's jokes, you are good at what you do, you earn more than enough, you are a successful career woman/man, you own a beautiful house, a beautiful car but still you feel like you are only just existing and not living? Do you feel cheated? Do you feel like life is unfair to you? Do you wonder why your ex that cheated on you and broke your heart into a million pieces, moved on, found love and is happily living his/her life while you are still stuck? Do you wonder how that girl that slept with almost every dude on campus managed to find a rich respectful husband before you? Do you wonder why everyone has it so easy and you do not? Do you feel unwanted? Do you feel unloved? And even when you are surrounded by people who truly love you, you still feel so alone? Do you wonder why your phone never rings, and when it finally does, it's someone asking for your help, not to check up on you? Do you wonder why you always drop everything when a friend needs you but they never reciprocate? And even when they do, you reject it? Do you wonder why you are always willing to listen and solve people's problems but no one cares if you even have one? Do you walk around with a heavy heart? Are you trying to make sense of your best friend's suicide? Are you trying to make sense of the death of a loved one? Do you feel so much pain, it hurts? Do you feel like every time you take a step forward, you end up taking ten steps backward? Do you feel like you are better than that dude that got the promotion you were eyeing? Do you wonder why that guy you have always been there for, chose your friend over you? Do you say 'i'm fine' even though you are not,when people ask how you are?  Do you feel bad because you have been married for ten years and still do not have a child, yet that lady on your street that aborted more than six times back in college has a set of twins? Do you wonder why nothing seems to work out for you even though you pray regularly?  Do you feel like no matter what you have, you always want more? Do you feel unbearably alone?

There are questions we may never find answers to but you have to take comfort in the fact that 'YOU'RE NOT ALONE'...take comfort in the fact that someone somewhere knows exactly how you feel, take comfort in the fact that someone was once in your shoes, take comfort in the fact that it finally got better for that person, take comfort in the fact that it 'WILL' get better for you. Take comfort in the fact that there is a supernatural being, force or entity that far surpasses your understanding somewhere, looking out for you, ordering your every step and rooting for you, I'm rooting for you too, persevere, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. - With Love from Mo xox

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to comment and share by clicking the social media icons below or better still copy the link and share, thank you!

 

#UNAPOLOGETIC FOODIE: FITFAM-ING MY WAY TO A SIZE 8😁

Hey guys, so I lost a lot of weight last year but unfortunately I gained everything x2 right back😢 my problem really is sugar but I am hoping to do better this year, so I am going to enjoy my junks this holiday season, heh! and start afresh next week, so fitfam here I come😁.

I used to be indifferent about my weight due to the fact that I lose weight easily and more than easily gain it right back but my grandpa (mum's dad) recently died of diabetes (God rest his soul) and my dad, well let's just say my dad is cursing the first day he tasted sugar (I inherited my sugar addiction from him), my aunt (mum's sister) is also diabetic, so let's just say with all these history I have to stop my very bad eating habit. I Love Food, it's no news really and I am unapologetic about it, heh! People think loving food means you are a glutton but they could not be more wrong, being a foodie means you love to experience and experiment new cuisines. So I am adding my foodieventures (foodie+adventure😁) to my blog stories, will be sharing my unending quests to try out new cuisines and my journey into the fitfam world, would even share my special experimental recipes, heh!. On that note check out some of my healthy experiments. Enjoy!😁



Sorry I am new at this so I forgot to take pictures of the process (promise to do better next time😁) but this is what I like to call 'Sultry Spinachy Smoothie' (I am really proud of the name, heh!) the taste is just as good as the name, if I could say so myself😁.

Ingredients:

* 1/4 Spinach

* 1 Small Red plum

* 1 Small sized Pineapple peeled and chopped into small pieces

* 1/2 cup Soya milk

How to:

* Freeze all ingredients except spinach for 30 minutes. (I froze mine so I would not have to use ice which would have made it watery)

* Firstly rinse and blend spinach (spinach has a very strong distinct taste so I blended it first so I could determine the quantity of pineapple to use as a sweetener, I mean I wanted a healthy drink but who says it has to be bitter because it is healthy, heh!)

* Add plum and soya milk

* Lastly add pineapple (you may need more than the quantity stated above, depending on how sweet you want it)

* Lastly, sit back and enjoy!! 😁

This one I call 'Plancake'!😁  Ok so it is basically Plantain Pancake! It is just like making pancake except the main ingredient is plantain and it fries faster than pancakes plus it is very moist! I used:-

Ingredients:

*  1 over ripe plantain

* 1/2 cup flour

* 2 eggs

* 2/3 water

* 1 chopped chili pepper (shombo) or habanero (rodo)

* 1/2 Onions

* 1 tsp honey (adjust to your taste)

* 2 tsp oil or butter.

How to:

* Blend your plantain till it becomes a paste.

* Add accordingly, eggs, flour, water, chilli pepper, onions, blend all. 

* Butter your non-stick frying pan, heat it and pour a small amount of your batter and fry for 2 minutes on each side. (you can use oil but butter smells better)

* Serve with honey as a syrup. (though plancake is sweet without honey because of the plantain in it but just incase it is not, add honey)

* Enjoy this snack with 'Sultry Spinachy Smoothie' or 'Light Sparkling water' like i did above! 

Who else is fitfam-ing this year?😁 Thank You for taking time out to read, do not forget to share! and Lastly, HAPPY NEW YEAR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! MAY ALL OUR DREAMS COME TRUE THIS YEAR!!! 

With Love💖

From Mo...xox

#A RANDOM DAY IN BENIN!

I found myself in Uromi, Edo State a few weeks ago, I attended a burial ceremony (Rest In Peace grandma Eigbefoh) which lasted four days, it seemed like the best idea to go sight seeing in Benin City. My journey was filled with so much drama and fretting, firstly, we experienced serious road traffic congestion and while we were wondering the cause of the traffic we saw a large crowd running towards us, everyone except me in the cab I boarded got down and started running too. You see I try not to fret when I am in a tight spot because if I have learnt anything from being a Nigerian, it's the fact that tragedies rarely kill people, it's the whole fretting and fear of the tragedy that kills (okay so maybe I learnt that from watching all five series of final destination, heh!) Anyways I calmly sat down alone in the cab (I was snapchatting, heh!) after a while people started to troop back and it was then I discovered that two(2) fuel tankers collided and it was the fear of an explosion that made them run! (chai Nigerians too dey fear!).

Two(2) hours later our cab was finally back on the move, we were finally on our way to Benin. It was already too late and I had gone through all the stages of fear, I was finally at the stage of acceptance, while we were waiting for the tankers to be moved i wanted to get a bus back to Uromi and plan the trip for another day but we were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by bushes, my only option was to get to Benin and get a bus right back to Uromi. The driver saw how worried i was and after making me explain, he offered his help. You see my plan was to go to the National Museum to see all the beautiful art works Benin is known for, though that was not my initial plan, my original plan was to go and greet the Oba of Benin ('Oba gha t’okpere ise!') and take a tour round his palace during which we will fall in love and get married and i will become the youngest Queen of Benin (heheh!) but i was told that i had to book an appointment and since there was no time to do that i had to settle for the National Museum. Anyways to cut my very long story short, I ended up doing a lot more than i planned all in an hour, Here is how i spent a random day in Benin City! Enjoy! 😂

 I visited this site which is right in the middle of the bustling new Benin. This Cenotaph was unveiled on the 12th day of November, 1972 in loving memory of all the HEROES who lost their lives during the two world wars and the war to preserve the territorial integrity of Nigeria as One Nation. If you ever find yourself there be sure to say a little prayer for these Heroes, i sure did!

The people of Benin basically live and eat with crocs, be ready to see a crocodile crossing the road with you! Here is a picture of a random crocodile eating his breakfast 'Mr Fish', Bon appetit! (OK! so i am obviously kidding, heh! if it was real i am sure i would not be standing this close to it!) 

This looks a lot like the remains of an ancient wall in Rome. I asked my cab man cum tour-guard cum new best-friend what it meant but even he did not know and there was no sign board or poster to explain it's significance but anyways it was significantly useful for a lot of selfies (heh!) because really 'When in Rome'! 😃  

Here is the man-made water fall everyone in Benin is crazy about! According to my tour guard, it was built by Guinness and apparently former Gov. Adams Oshiomole maintained it because some kind of shrine was built for him. Unfortunately, they only turn it on from 6pm-ish, so if you want to see the beauty, go late (you are welcome!)  You can check online to see what it looks like turned on, it's really beautiful.

Ladies and Gentlemen! I have good news! I ended up in the Oba of Benin's palace!! Ah! i was so excited! You see the palace has stood in the same location for at least 700 years! Though the size has expanded over the years. According to Edoworld.net, "it is regarded as one of the greatest museums in the world because it still holds a large collection of royal court arts, scriptural pieces of past Obas in bronze and ivory and ancestral shrines." The palace is mostly visited by Curators, Historians and Archaeologist from all over the world. In 1999, it was declared a UNESCO heritage site. It is a must see on the list of tourists visiting Benin and only when you visit it yourself will you know why. Though i did not have time to take a tour and i did not spend up to 15 minutes there, it was still the most memorable part of my trip to Benin City. 

The palace is really guarded but i entered it without being questioned or stopped, i started to feel like the Oba was expecting me. My suspicion grew stronger when i saw a large crowd dancing and singing, at this point my heart started to beat faster because i was like 'OMG, maybe the Isekhure (that's the chief priest) saw me coming years ago and proclaimed that the Oba had to marry and make me a Queen immediately!' But as i got closer it turned out they were not welcoming me, they did this particular celebration on their market days as part of the just concluded coronation ceremony (by the way, they just concluded the coronation ceremony of the 40th Oba of Benin, His Royal Crown Prince, <AMB> Eheneden Erediauwa <Edaiken Uselu>) Oba gha t’okpere, ise!  I joined the festivities, i danced and sang with them, it felt good to finally showcase my knowledge of Benin Dance and songs! heh! A Queen or a princess (it's hard to differentiate because she had a lot of beads on)  smiled at me when she saw me singing and dancing, i felt good, i did not want to leave, my tour guard had to literally drag me out. 

I saw some chiefs but unfortunately i did not see the Oba.  A lady in the crowd told me he does not come out every time during the celebration but that he joined the celebration on the last market day. She advised me to come in two days which was on a Sunday if i wanted to see the Oba, unfortunately i had to travel back that day.😞 But so long my King! i will see you soon, maybe not as your Queen but as Your daughter in-law! 😅

Next, i went to Edo State Council for Arts and Culture, Edo State Gallery, Headquarters. I breezed in and breezed out, it was lovely! Check out some of the art works below...

Finally, it was time to return to Uromi but before i did, i had to check out an ancient church (some people say it is the oldest church in Nigeria) called, 'The Holy Aruosa Cathedral' popularly called the 'Church of Benin' which was founded over 500 years ago (over five centuries!). The Holy Aruosa Cathedral is to the Bini people what the Church of England is to the English people. The Oba of Benin is the General overseer/spiritual head. There is actually a folklore surrounding this church, you can read more about it here Folklore. The Portuguese brought Christianity into Benin kingdom and you can see their influence even in the architectural design of the church. According to my tour guard, people come from all over the world to catch a glimpse of the Oba in church every Sunday.

Tips:- 

*I visited these places in an hour or less because they are within walking distance to each other.

* Find your way to the heart of Benin City, the rest is easy, just ask someone, they will point it out, it is that easy.

* If you wish to visit other sites in Benin City/Edo State, check this website for details edoworld.

* Go early so you can enjoy it all but make sure to save the waterfall for last so you can be there when it gets turned on.

*Hold enough Money so you do not get stranded.

*Though Bini people are Good people, it is better to be security conscious when you are in/on unfamiliar territory.  (My mum was getting ready to alert policemen when i still wasn't back by 8pm, heh! It wasn't my fault really, i did not plan on getting lost which i did on my way back to uromi but that is another story for another day! 😁)

If you have been to Benin City, tell me all about it below! If you are planning a trip to Benin City, would love to hear about it below! Don't forget to share by clicking any of the social media links below! or better still just copy and paste! 😄 And Lastly, Happy Holidays guys! 😃😃😃 

This post is dedicated to the Oba of Benin ('Oba gha t’okpere, ise!) and Grandma Lucy Eigbefoh (May her soul rest in peace)

 

#HAPPINESS

For centuries, wars have been waged, hearts have been broken all in the pursuit of happiness, all in the pursuit to feel and find happiness. All over the world individuals break up relationships of fifteen years or more because they no longer feel happy, Men and Women quit their jobs because they feel like something is missing; 'Happiness'. People sell their houses and move from their own country to another country because they feel like a change of environment would make them happy. Seems like everyone we meet is on the journey of finding the ultimate price 'Happiness'! So the question is, What is Happiness?

"To be happy, you have to be willing to be compliant with not knowing"

- Shirley MacLaine, Academy Award Winner

A while back a friend of mine asked me, "Are You Happy?" surprisingly i frowned and thought of the question, after about two minutes i finally looked at him and answered "well, i am not unhappy", we laughed and left it at that. Ever since i had that conversation i have wondered about my answer, if i am not unhappy, then why didn't i just say i am happy? 

The thing about happiness is that all over the world happiness means different things to different people, it comes in different sizes, shapes and colors. Happiness for some people is that job promotion, it could be that first pay check or that pay check you get at the end of every month. It could be the sound of your child's laughter or watching your baby take his first steps. It could be the sound your partner makes during lovemaking. It could be the joy of paying your own bills or heartfelt gratitude from your parents when you pay for their long overdue vacation. But then again why do people who have experienced the above moments of pleasure still end up unhappy, some of them have all these and still end up so depressed that they take their lives, why?

The thing is we are always waiting for something awesome to happen to us because we believe it would bring happiness. It seems to me like we depend and wait on some particular thing, event or person to be happy. We wait for that promotion because it would make us happy, we wait to fall in love and be with our soulmate because it would make us happy. I am not saying that getting that promotion is bad, promotion equals more money and more money means you will be more comfortable, comfort is good, it makes life easier but the fact is Comfort doesn't always equal Happiness. Neither am i saying waiting for your soul mate is bad, Love is good, it makes you feel good, thereby making life good, but it means you are waiting for someone to make you happy and if you have to depend on someone for happiness you are only setting yourself up for unhappiness.

"My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations." - Michael J. Fox

After twenty five years, one month, twenty six days and six hours, forty two minutes and thirty nine seconds on Earth i have come to understand and accept that Happiness is Gratitude, that waiting for something to happen to make me happy isn't living, that is postponing my happiness. I have come to accept that there is no pursuit of happiness, happiness is NOW, happiness isn't feeling good all the time, if it was that then drug addicts would forever be happy, happiness is accepting that 'Shit Happens and Life sucks' but if i am truly grateful for all that i have, i will be content and with content comes true Joy and being filled with Joy means undiluted happiness. Thus, even though i am not where i want to be and i still want so much from life, even though i don't know what tomorrow holds, i think i can truly say "Yes i am happy" if i am asked because i am grateful for all that i am and all that i have, ARE YOU?

#SUICIDE

I got to the office that day and i immediately knew something was wrong, the expressions on people's faces varied from pity to fear to confusion and some even looked judgmental but then again there is always some kind of drama going on at the office so i shrugged and went straight into my boss's office. Now you have to know that my boss is a manipulative, egocentric maniac but he is also  a genius and he is hilarious so we all kind of overlook the former because of the latter, suffice to say even though he bullies us we all love working for him. 

Everyday, since i started working for him, my boss always has something witty to say every time i enter his office, but not that day...that day more than five(5) of my colleagues were in his office and he looked like he was the one that needed a good laugh which further confirmed my earlier thought about something being wrong. One of my colleagues came to my side and held my hand and i looked at my boss with questions in my eyes and he looked right back into my eyes and said 'Yewande was found dead, she killed herself''. I looked at my boss without blinking and said "This joke is way too expensive, even for you", but even as i said it, i knew deep down he was telling me the truth. I looked at my colleagues, hoping with all my heart that it was a joke but they all looked away, some of them with tears in their eyes and i knew then and there that i would never see Yewande again.

Yewande, why? why? why? i asked myself over and over and over again. Yewande! WHY? I tried to make sense of it, i needed answers. I just didn't want to know why, i needed to know why, for the sake of my own sanity. Even though it was horrible that she committed suicide, the fact that she committed suicide without a note, without an explanation made it worse. I went to her house and turned the place upside down in search of a note, a clue, anything to make sense of her suicide but there was nothing. I accused the police force of not doing their job, i told them i was sure someone murdered her but her mother said it was impossible. You see, Yewande lived with her mum and dad, she was the only child, and on the day she passed, they had just finished dinner, they were all watching a tv show, according to her mum, everything seemed normal, they were all relaxing and generally having a good laugh until her dad said he wanted freshly squeezed orange juice, her mum called the maid but when there was no response they figured she had already gone to bed so her mum went to get it herself, she brought the orange to the sitting room to squeeze because she didn't want to miss the show but the knife she brought was blunt and cutting the orange seemed like a sport so Yewande offered to go get another knife and she never came back, her mum found her in the pool of her own blood, she had slit her wrist. 

It just didn't make sense, i thought i was a happy child until i met Yewande, never met an happier person than Yewande. She never got angry, she always saw the best in people. she gave every single person the benefit of the doubt, she always had something wise to say in every situation, i always looked at her like a wise exotic being from out of space. Her suicide just didn't make sense. I mean we spend practically all our time together, we see and work together five(5)days a week, sometimes weekend(overtime) we go for lunch together, we hang out after work together most times. Surely i should have seen the suicidal signs right? I kept asking myself, it just didn't make sense.

I was selecting pictures for her burial and i came across one of her many pictures on my phone and i saw something that i had never seen in her eyes before, maybe i always saw it and i never knew what it meant then, or maybe i saw it and ignored it anyways or maybe it was just my subconscious way of making sense of it, but i saw something deeper in her eyes, she was looking directly at the camera and what i saw made my heart ache so bad,  it made me weep and kept me up on so many nights. What i saw was nothing, there was nothing in her eyes, it was empty, there was some kind of hopelessness about the emptiness in her eyes and everyday i wake up and ask myself how i could have missed that look. 

 

Suicide isn't something we take serious in Nigeria, we are always so quick to judge, so quick to say it's some kind of demonic attack(aye lon shey), we are always so quick to say only someone weak and selfish can commit suicide but do you know what it means to actually commit suicide, for a person to point a gun to his/her head and pull the trigger, the person must truly be without hope. People are always so quick to say "she's ungrateful, how can she kill herself, she has everything! she has a husband that would die for her, adorable healthy kids, she has a beautiful home, a million dollar job, what else does she want?" Fact is because you having all this would make you ultimately happy and fulfilled! doesn't mean other people feel the same way. Some people can have the world laid at their feet and still feel inconsolably depressed and alone. 

Speak Out, Ask for help, some people suffer depression for years before they eventually commit suicide, if you are having suicidal thoughts, call someone immediately. If you are fighting depression, talk to someone continuously, till the problem is solved. Talk to a professional and if not a professional, then someone you love and trust.

If someone suicidal reaches out to you, listen without judging, be understanding, check on the person regularly. sometimes all it takes is a friendly smile, a hug, some thing as simple as holding hands, if it isn't something you can handle find someone that can! The most important thing is to ask for help.

It's sad that we do not have some kind of suicide helpline in Nigeria, I really hope that some day we do. 

Watching a loved one suffer these symptoms and not being able to do anything is a horrible feeling, trust me when i say the battle is continuous so I want to start some kind of support group for people suffering from issues with depression, addiction and issues that might lead to suicidal thoughts,  if you are suffering from any of the above, or you know someone that is suffering from the above and you don't know how to deal with it, or if you survived any of the following and would like to share how you overcame yours or if you are a psychologist and would like to share expert advise, please write to sorandomgurls@gmail.com. Please share this post with someone today, May God continue to give us the strength to carry on, God Bless us all.

#LYRICAL LETTER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND......

Dear Random Readers! I'm back! I know i have been MIA and i'm sorry but this time i'm back for good and this time i get to post regularly not limited to only Saturdays. So today's post isn't so absolutely random, it's a little bit personal since it's a letter to my future husband (where ever he is, hopefully he isn't shagging some random girl right now or worse, a random dude! heh!)

So here's the thing, i get asked this question a lot (what's your ideal man? or what do you want in a relationship?), i'm not sure i know why but i never know how to answer, even though i know the answer, i just can't explain what it is i want in my man or in a relationship, i keep saying i'll know when i see him or when i'm in that relationship. Even i can admit that this is very very corny but it's always my answer. Now it's important to note the fact that i can't date you if i can't marry you which is why i don't date much, i can go five years without going on a single date (it's no reason to commit suicide) and it's easy for me because i don't like to waste my time on things like that, if i can't see a future with you, what's the point? Speaking of the future, my friend told me a story recently of how one of her other friend's boyfriend told her that he was 'confused' (whatever that means) on their eleventh year anniversary(no be marriage anniversary o, na boyfriend and girlfriend anniversary, hahaha! she's the one begging now because she can't start dating again after eleven years of dating the same dude that is now confused haha! hilarious! some dude ehn! when he dey enjoy free sex for 11 years he no dey confused then o) Anyways back to my main topic, i can't waste my time on more than one date if i cannot marry you. I know you are thinking, 'but if you don't go on more than one date how would you know if he is the one for you?' well let me tell you what i always tell my friends when they ask the exact same thing, 'I'm gonna know, i don't know how but i'm just gonna know and i only need a date with you to know'. And no matter how corny people say it is, it's what i believe in and it's gonna work for me, so would rather not waste my time. 

I'm flaky when it comes to other things but not matters of Love, see i'm intense so it's only natural that i want an intense relationship, i want the Christian Grey-Anastasia Steele, Edward-Bella, 'Let's dance like we are making love' kind of love, hehe! (By the way i don't want the romeo and juliet kinda love, whats the point if we are both dead, seriously romeo and juliet is a really great script but a very bad love story, it shouldn't even enter top 100 list of love stories) anyways, i want deep, passionate, raw, intense, heated, burning and sensual(heh!) kind of love and no matter what anyone says i'm not settling and you shouldn't either. See there are too many mediocre things in life, Love shouldn't be part of it, i might consider settling for other things in Life but where Love is concerned i'm not settling. And people say your idea of Love is a fairy tale and it doesn't exist and i always tell them 'because it doesn't exist in your life doesn't mean it wouldn't in my life', what you do not believe in can not work for you (abi no be so?). People also always say 'what if you never find what you are looking for?' well my answer is 'then i'm gonna channel all that intensity into helping the starving children of Africa and all the hundreds of Maltese i might end up adopting! (P.S, i intend on helping the children of Africa either way and of-course i'm going to adopt a Maltese pup either way) Anyways, my point is, don't let anybody/society pressure you into jumping into a relationship and most importantly don't pressure yourself, the aftermath might be worse than being lonely/alone.

So here's a lyrical letter to my future husband....

Climb on board

We'll go slow and high tempo

Light and dark

Hold me hard and mellow

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure 

Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us

Bodies together

I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always

I'd love to wake up next to you

So we'll piss off the neighbors

In the place that feels the tears

The place to lose your fears

Yeah, reckless behavior

A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw

Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day

Fucking in, fighting on

It's our paradise and it's our war zone

It's our paradise and it's our war zone

Pillow talk

My enemy, my ally

Prisoners

Then we're free, it's a thriller

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure

Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us 

Bodies together

I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always

I'd love to wake up next to you

So we'll piss off the neighbors

In the place that feels the tears

The place to lose your fears

Yeah, reckless behavior

A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw

Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day

Fucking in, fighting on

It's our paradise and it's our war zone

It's our paradise and it's our war zone

Paradise, paradise. paradise, paradise

War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone

Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise

War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone

So we'll piss off the neighbors

In the place that feels the tears

The place to lose your fears

Yeah, reckless behavior

A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw

Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day

Fucking in, fighting on

It's our paradise and it's our war zone

It's our paradise and it's our war zone

 BY ZAYN MALIK- PILLOWTALK

Dedicate this to your special somebody, send the link to him/her, comment and don't forget to share on social media(s), thanks!

#GET OVER YOURSELF

Hey random people! i know it's been two weekends since my last post, sorry about that, i have been quite busy planning my next 30 before 30 adventure(okay i'm lying, not planning anything, i have just been busy with being busy, heh) Anyways, i hope your valentine's day went well, congratulations once again to everyone that got engaged, *kisses* Now moving on! I'm here to give you a tough-loving-harsh-kinda advise. GET OVER YOURSELF! 

Bernard Baily once said "when science discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find they are not it." seriously i think it's time you realized that other people's behavior isn't about you, so GET OVER YOURSELF.

Buffy in Buffy the vampire slayer once said "you are an idiot. my life happens to, on occasion suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than i can handle, and it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're busy dealing with their own." So brothers & sisters GET OVER YOURSELF. You think you're the only one in pain? Allow me to comfort you, i'm in pain too. You think your Life sucks? well honey, i have news for you, over a billion individuals around the world including me also thinks their life sucks, so GET OVER YOURSELF.

You suffered brutal physical abuse & severe sexual abuse at the hands of several adults including your father, well let me tell you who else suffered such, more than a thousand others including Tyler Perry, yes the same Tyler Perry, the media mogul sitting at the top of the A-list, producer of more than 30 plays, movies & TV shows, who was in 2010 named second highest earning man in Hollywood by Forbes magazine, yes the one and only Tyler Perry, so don't you think you have cried enough? Don't you think you have allowed your pain & anger to define you & your future enough? My dear GET OVER YOURSELF. You might think witnessing a parent's divorce, living with someone who has a drug/alcohol problem, or struggling with the economy is the worst thing that could happen to you but my dear none of these can limit your success except you allow it to so GET OVER YOURSELF.

The great Oprah Winfrey also suffered from a traumatic childhood, she had to turn to a power greater than herself (God's Will), it was her way of getting over herself, to persevere & make it through, if she could do it? What's your excuse? my dear GET OVER YOURSELF.

I want to tell you the story of a boy whose schoolmaster sent him out of school while another schoolmaster declared that he would never amount to much, well that boy is today regarded as one of the smartest men of all time, that boy was Albert Einstein, So you have been embarrassed, disgraced, let down, almost everyone has written you off & declared you the most unlikely to succeed, so now you are lashing out but all these your rebelliousness is only proving them right which is why you need to take charge of your life and GET OVER YOURSELF! (By the way i was gonna use Kanye West as an example 'cos apparently back in high school he was voted most unlikely to succeed but in his current situation, i don't think using him as an example would buttress my point, haha, besides i don't think Kanye has gotten over himself)

You need to know that not everyone is out to get you, sometimes a prank is just what it is, a prank, learn how to laugh at yourself, stop taking life so seriously, when someone plays a prank on you, a prank that seems so expensive, relax and look at the funny side and join them in laughter, take your feet out of your ass and GET OVER YOURSELF! 

Drawing from Whitney Brown in the big picture, we get it, you are beautiful/sexy/handsome/attractive/talented/rich and whatever, so you feel like treating everyone like crap is okay 'cos you are supposedly 'special' & better than everyone but let's assume there are a billion people in the world. it's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy/girl, there are still a thousand guys/girls exactly like you so GET OVER YOURSELF.

Now don't even get me started on Eminem, you have a one room apartment & you're still complaining, GET OVER YOURSELF! Eminem grew up in a trailer home, he battled domestic violence as a youngster and felt bullied among his peers, he channeled all these hurt, anger, frustration & pain into his music, just read his biography or listen to the lyrics of his songs. He was named the best-selling artist of the decade in 2009.

According to Nairaland.com Omotola Jolade Ekeinde lost her father at a tender age, her Life changed forever then, life became harder and they had to live from hand to mouth, they had to beg at one point to survive, she made the Times Magazine list of Most Influential People in the world in 2003. Mercy Johnson Okojie and her family moved into an uncompleted building where they lived with Lizards, it rained inside the house because it was without roof/windows, today Mercy Johnson is one of the most sought after Nigerian actress, earning about 1.8million Naira per script. Ramsey Noah went from Grace to Grass, his mum lost all her wealth and they had to struggle to meet ends meet, there were times that they had to sleep under the bridge, they didn't have ordinary cup to drink water talk-less of stove to cook. Ramsey Noah is today a Superstar known both home and abroad. Joseph Benjamin went from being a bus conductor, security guard, waiter, Bakery worker to a shoe seller, he is one of the best actors in Nigeria today. Don Jazzy worked various odd jobs including working at McDonalds and as a security guard. He was recently rated the 36th most powerful celebrity in Africa according to forbes. My point is everyone has problems so Get over your situation and Move on!

Eleanor Roosevelt also said "you wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do", so GET OVER YOURSELF! It isn't always about you. Nothing is easy, absolutely nothing in Life is easy, it might seem easy for some people but you really don't know what the person had to go through or is still going through, nobody's journey is the same, so stop with your delusions of inadequacy and grandeur and GET OVER YOURSELF!

Sure your past grudges & anger might/would continue to hurt but the thing about getting over yourself is accepting this fact. The truth is today your Life might suck 100% & tomorrow, your Life might suck 80%, you just have to accept it and move on with courage/hope even if it's for the sake of the remaining 20% that your life doesn't suck for.Tony Gaskins once said "The biggest hurdle in Life is getting over yourself. Once you get over yourself, you can get anywhere" so PLEASE GET OVER YOURSELF!!! I could go on and on but i'm sure you get my point, the only person holding you back is 'YOU', no 'enemy' or 'hater' can stop your destiny or stop you from shining so GET OVER YOURSELF AND SHINE! GOD BLESS US ALL...

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